I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
