We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
