It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
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