Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Help. Why am I so naked?
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