This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
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