Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Pants 0. Shit 1.
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Randomize