Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Randomize
