Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
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