Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
