and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Don't EVER smell your tampon
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I have tasted many bathrooms
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
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