i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I intend to get homeless drunk
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
