you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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