I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
