Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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