She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Randomize
