i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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