no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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