I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
