I don't think brook has ever known best
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Randomize
