Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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