It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Randomize
