They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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