so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
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