We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
