they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Randomize
