i just identified you from a description of your pipe
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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