He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize
