im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Randomize
