He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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