So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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