..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
