The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Randomize
