i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Randomize
