the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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