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• (301): View more from Maryland

  When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...

  (301): View more from Maryland

  New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey

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• (778): View more from British Columbia

  I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.

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• (989): View more from Michigan

  dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away

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• (313): View more from Michigan

  We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.

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• (540): View more from Virginia

  is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?

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• (229): View more from Georgia

  Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?

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• (914): View more from New York

  My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?

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• (520): View more from Arizona

  Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.

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• (760): View more from California

  I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.

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• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.

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• (817): View more from Texas

  My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.

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• (860): View more from Connecticut

  "I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"

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• (314): View more from Missouri

  I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.

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• (805): View more from California

  I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony

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• (606): View more from Kentucky

  So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud

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