The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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