That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Duck Duck Cougar?
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
