Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
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