): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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