She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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