these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
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