Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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