i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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