No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
