he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
