Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
