Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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