it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
