oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
I puked a lego.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
where does the pee come out of this thing
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
This is my life. Enjoy the view
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
