Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
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