we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
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He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
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I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
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