I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Randomize
