He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
