Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
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