i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
