But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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