Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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