Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Randomize
