Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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