so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
