if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Randomize