people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
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But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
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Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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